The Gypsy Rose

The Gypsy Rose

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Stopping to smell the flowers of life...

Saw these at the grocery store for $4.99 and decided to brighten my own day!

Why is it women generally take care of everyone else, and never take time for themselves?  We rarely remember to spoil ourselves, even when it's not expensive or extreme.  $5 on flowers?  EASY!!  These peonies reminded me of Pirate's Mom.  They were her favorite flower...I never got to meet the wonderful woman who raised my Pirate, as she and his Dad passed away several years prior to our meeting.  We do always joke that it was his Mom who turned that steering wheel into the bank driveway! (Totally random how Pirate and I met, so we know Someone Upstairs had a Hand in it!)  I would have loved to thank her for the wonderful man she raised.  I like to do that...thank the parents of people I dearly love.  I mean, if their parents hadn't had them, I wouldn't have them in my life!!  I hope this is a tradition that gets passed down...I know it means the world to me when someone compliments my kids, so how about spreading some joy?

It's amazing what we put up with, or settle for, in life.  Back when I didn't realize my own worth, I put up with a LOT of crap...mostly from the men in my life, but also from my parents and family.  Neither of my folks were raised with much love or respect modeled for them.  Ahhh, it was such a different time!!  Today, my brother and I would've been removed from our home.  On my folks side, they were such kids themselves when they had Steven and I, and we ARE the first generation off the farm.  They sure didn't have a lot of tools in their emotional toolboxes, for sure.  But they have mellowed with age and grandparenthood.

When you grow up being put down all the time, you begin to believe what's being said to you.  When someone doesn't treat you or love you the way you deserve, it doesn't reflect on YOU as not being reflects on the other person as someone who needs to put down others in order to feel better about themselves.  Pure and simple.  But, children tend to think it's their fault.  It's so sad, but we all eventually either find a better way to be in this world, or we join in and heap insults and slurs on others weaker than even ourselves.  And if you happen to have a small child, guess who is going to get the brunt of it?!  

Humans are naturally selfish.  It's a survival thang, really.  It takes someone with integrity to rise above that natural instinct and put others first.  Usually, becoming a parent takes care of that!!  But not always.  It's a choice we make each day how we are going to move through life. Most of us don't even realize we HAVE choices and just "let life happen" to us.  I was in that mind set for quite some time.  Then, I was just so smothered that when I came up for some air, I found freedom!

Can a person be truly happy in a crappy relationship?  Only if the other person has the patience of Job and can love so unconditionally that they see through the person's pain and lashing out and ride the wave with them, hoping to eventually come out whole on the other side.  I've found that most people are NOT gonna change, so you'd bettered be careful with your heart!!  In a true relationship, each person puts the other first, and strives to become a better person...just so the other  partner will benefit from it.  That's how Pirate and I are.  Most folks are somewhere in between...I'll tell you the secret to happiness:

It's YOUR job!  Not anyone or any don't need the 'right' mate or that perfect job or when you have X amount of money.  If you can't be happy in the bad times, how will you know to be happy in the good times?  MY happiness is MY responsibility, PERIOD!!  If I don't have the "pluck" to ask for what I want, then I deserve what I get.  

Sometimes, the person you thought you fell in love with isn't worthy of your heart.  What then?  What if your entire family puts you down, your mate does the same, and everyone's favorite sport seems to be lying to you?  Then you've got to decide if you're more comfortable being treated like that and learn to stop complaining about it, or you've got some changes to make.  We teach people how to treat us by what we're willing to "put up with."  If 'speaking up for yourself' would make the people in your life kick you out or desert you, then please try and save money, make a plan, and get the hell out!!  NO ONE deserves to be treated that way!!

I've had to start my life over so many times in the past, I quit counting.  But the minute I decided I deserved better, the doors of Heaven seemed to open for me.  Remember, I was going through all of this with a child in tow!  Not easy!!  I had to swallow my pride and move in with my folks more than once on this journey to Pirate.  But each step lead me to where my soul matey was.  If you don't think you can do, you're right, you can't yet.  Once you KNOW you can, nothing will stop you.  How do you get to that place of strength?  One day at a time.

You see, there just aren't any easy just have to step out  on faith.  Get those ducks all lined up, dream, work on yourself and getting strong and confident, develop relationships that are worthy of you so you have support.  Stash every single penny you can.  One favorite quote:  I had one dime to my name and two kids...but I left, cuz I thought I have one red cent to my name and nine to spare!  Find out what gov't services are available...find a church or shelter and decide if their 'rules' fit you.  Couch surf with friends for a month or two to save money.  No matter how hard your situation is, somebody ALWAYS has it worse.  ALWAYS!  So count those blessings, be thankful for what does come into your life, and start building yourself up.  

While you're in this transition, don't take what is said to or about you to heart.  As those used to beating you up physically, mentally, emotionally...they are gonna attack full force to try and get you 'back in line like they like ya.'  They have YOU to lose, so they're gonna do it.  Don't take it in, don't let it flatten you out.  If it does, just get stronger for the next time.  And it will take time, and maybe even more than one time, but you CAN do it!  If I can, anyone else can!

Let's all be good to each other today!

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